


Memories

by stringingwords



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/F, Fluff, One Shot, Sappy, like really sappy, seriously apologies for the sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 02:24:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8603530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stringingwords/pseuds/stringingwords
Summary: Maybe that was it, she thought…Holly had been her first, she was under her skin. She was unfinished business, an eternal ‘what if’, which explained why she couldn’t let her go.Gail reliving her Holly days one chilly evening.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So writing Clexa is still my own true passion, but @im-a-gollyholic4ever sent me the song Photograph by Ed Sheeran as a Golly prompt and it gave me so many feels I had to. It's very sappy, even for me. But I blame the song and life in general for colluding to make me write this mush. You have been warned.

‘Ugh, rookies are the worst!’ Gail groaned, her beer glass hitting the table a little more loudly than it needed to. ‘We were never that stupid.’

‘I actually enjoy it,’ Chloe chirped. ‘It feels like giving back somehow. Like all the good they do will somehow be an extension of our efforts, you know.’

Gail responded with a look that said Chloe might actually be dumber than the rookies themselves.

‘So how’s the whole TOing thing?’ Dove asked sauntering over.

‘Price here was just making me gag by saying how much fun she’s having. Would’ve been a waste too, considering how much alcohol I need to wash off a day of babysitting.’

‘Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy torturing them. I heard one of them nearly pissed himself the other day when he heard he was with you.’

‘Protect and serve, that’s what I’m here for,’ Gail offered with a cheery smile.

‘Right, next round’s on me. What are you having?’ Dove asked.

Gail’s phone pinged and she looked at it quickly before shoving it back into her pocket.

‘Nothing for me. I’m heading home.’

‘But we just got here.’

‘Long day.’

‘Right. Or you just got a booty call,’ Dove smirked.

‘I guess some mysteries were never meant to be solved.’

 

Gail said a few more goodbyes, threw on her coat and stepped outside. The air was crisp and she considered calling a cab, before choosing to walk. She wanted the chill. Wanted to clear her head.

‘ _The other night was fun. Hit me up sometime_ ’

It had been fun. Approximately 5 feet, 8 inches of tanned, seductive fun, with teasing eyes and a tendency to be a little too loud. It had been nice, light and sexy, the perfect distraction after a day on patrol. Why then did it make her feel hollow, like she wanted to just delete the number and be done with it?

Gail sighed as she stepped around a group of teens.

Because it wasn’t just what it was. It was what it wasn’t. It wasn’t that fluttering, gripping pull at her core, like soaring and falling at the same time, flooding her senses and shutting down her mind. It was more calculated, more mechanical, thoughts cutting in here and there, sometimes relevant, sometimes not. Not bad. It couldn’t be bad when your date looked like Michelle Rodriguez and knew her way around the bedroom. It just wasn’t…

Gail smiled sardonically, thinking of a coat closet and the heady effects of champagne, lips brushed lightly against hers. _You’re insane, you know that?_ The tiniest touch. And yet it had made her stomach plummet and pulse race, had kept her up all night as she tried to brush it off while reveling in the memory.

It wasn’t Holly.

Gail sighed again. She was being stupid about this whole thing. It was just a fling. Holly was amazing, sure, but she’d gotten over longer relationships. Hell, surviving the Peck family pretty much made you immune to everything.

Then why did her absence feel stronger than everyone else’s presence?

 

Thoughts of that first night. The rush that had coursed through her, doing away with the despair and fatigue of the day. A little awkward, a little fumbling. Holly’s crooked smile. Her lips on her neck, her breasts, her stomach, fingers tracing, gripping, dipping. The acts themselves similar perhaps to what she had done before, and yet so, so different; like shoveling porridge compared to crème brûlée melting on your tongue. Lying in bed afterwards listening to her breathing, she hadn’t been able to sleep. She’d just felt too full, in places she hadn’t known needed filling.

 

Maybe that was it, she thought nearing her block. Holly had been her first, she was under her skin. She was unfinished business, an eternal ‘what if’, which explained why she couldn’t let her go.

She passed the square, remembering the carolers with their ridiculous hats and aggressive cheer. Holly had waggled her eyebrows at Gail's derision.

 

'I dare you to join them,' she'd challenged.

'No way. Are you insane?'

'Gail Peck, fearless gunslinger, protector of the people and notorious badass, afraid of singing?'

'Not afraid,' Gail had retorted, 'appalled.'

'You're petrified,' Holly had teased, stepping so close their noses were practically touching and Gail had felt the familiar tingle at her proximity.

After an unsuccessful stare down she had tromped off, joining the edge of the group to the delight of the carolers. One had enthusiastically offered her his hat, only to be frozen to the spot by her death stare as she belted out, ''Tis the season to be jolly' threateningly.

When the song had finally ended and she walked back with a triumphant frown, Holly had kissed her in a way that had made stomach flip and brought a few cheers.

'You just wanna turn me into a regular showgirl huh?' she'd whispered a little breathlessly.

Holly had laughed.

'You know, now I do kinda want to have Holly all over my halls.'

'Oh really?' came the saucy reply.

They hadn't slept much that night.

 

That was the thing about Holly. Others could get behind her walls if they’d been given time and happened to be there in those rare little moments when she was feeling vulnerable. But Holly lived there. She could come and go as she pleased, slipping past her defenses as if she belonged there. And the truth was, she kind of did. 

She'd never told her, never quite managed to get the words out. One morning almost. They'd been sipping coffee, bodies lazily pressed close, and it'd hit her, that fullness in her chest, the want, the need to say something because it was just too big.

 

'Holly?'

'Hmm?'

She had faltered then, a little thrown off by the pressure of having her full attention.

'I…You're pretty fucking amazing.'

Holly had looked at her, eyes full and searching, and kissed her slowly, pressing the unsaid words into the kiss.

'You're not so bad yourself,' she'd teased with a smile.

And Gail couldn't shake the warm, enveloping feeling that she had known. 

 

It was funny, Gail had always thought she was a little broken, maybe a little sociopathic. Turns out the one person who made her feel whole may have broken her for good.

Hell, what did it matter? Jesus she was being sappy today. Fucking get yourself together Peck.

She noticed a slight movement on her lawn and her hand strayed to where her pistol usually rested. Nothing. Right, off duty. She approached cautiously, easing out of the light and into the shadows so that she could appraise the intruder before being seen, steps firm, silent.

‘Gail?’

A shuddering sigh escaped her lips at the sound of that voice. It couldn’t…

‘Holly?’

She stepped into the light of the lamppost. God she looked good! Face a little leaner, a little more tanned, and a look that made Gail bite her lip unconsciously.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘I went by the station, they said you’d already left so I came here. I’ve been waiting.’

‘No I mean…’ she stopped when she caught sight of her trembling lips, ‘you look freezing.’

She raised her hand instinctively to feel her cheek and Holly took hold of it, pressing her lips to her palm without thinking before letting it fall. Holly searched the shimmering blue eyes for a glimmer of what was going on behind them.

‘Are you ok?’ she asked. ‘I heard, at the station when I stopped by to look for you.  A couple officers were talking about it. Your brother…’

‘I’m fine,’ Gail replied, features set with determination.

‘You could’ve called me.’

Gail shrugged. ‘We said we wouldn’t do long-distance.' After a pause, 'I thought about it, but then, you know, saying goodbye again. I didn’t know how to do that.’

Holly nodded.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘Shortening the distance.’

Gail’s eyes jerked up to meet hers, searching.

But there wasn’t time. Holly’s lips were on hers, passionate, hungry, spurred by the whimper that escaped Gail’s mouth, the grip of her hand on her neck. Months of craving poured into the kiss. Until Holly pulled back.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, with a breathlessness void of her usual sass. ‘I don’t know if you’re seeing someone or even want to be kissing me. I just…’

Gail pulled her close again, lips teasing, sucking, biting. Remembering. Reclaiming. Missing. It’s funny how the moment you most miss a person is when you finally see them again.

When they broke for air Gail pulled away a little and Holly could see her eyes darken slightly in the lamplight; cautious, guarded.

‘How long are you staying?’ she asked, forcing her voice to remain neutral.

‘Indefinitely,’ Holly replied. ‘They were kind of screwing things up in the lab here and practically begged me to come back. I finished most of the research I was doing anyway. I can continue to collaborate from here.’

‘You know,’ she said, stepping closer and casually slipping her fingers through the belt loops in her pants, ‘you’re really fucking beautiful...I have this picture of you, wearing this same blue scarf that makes it impossible not to get lost in your eyes.' She shakes her head slightly, 'I thought I knew what you looked like, but that picture’s got nothing on you.’

Gail smiled, letting Holly draw her in until their hips met, bodies melting into one. Gail tilted her head, burying her face in her neck, breathing it in. They say smell is the sense most powerfully linked to emotions. This smell was excitement and peace and hope. It was home.

‘How rude of me,’ Gail murmured, breath tingling on Holly's ear ‘I haven’t even invited you in out of the cold.’

They moved towards the door.

‘You know,’ Holly replied as she fumbled with her keys, ‘a good host would make up for it by warming me up properly.’

‘Well I guess I have no choice then,’ she answered, pushing the door open and letting Holly pin her to the wall inside.

Her memories hadn’t exaggerated a single thing, Gail thought, stretching to kick the door closed behind them. This is what it's meant to feel like.


End file.
